Vault 139

Been coming here regularly for over three years. Always a good time to be had. My favourite days are Sunday or the naked night. Staff always very friendly and attentive.

Hello everyone. This is a review for 139-143 Whitfield Street, London, W1T 5EN, near Warren Street station. The approximate coordinates for this location are 51.52∘ North, -0.14∘ West. I was taken to this place by an Ensign. He will not be named, as he has since requested I do not include him in this text. You will be met with a multitude of male humans who are entirely devoid of clothing. At first, I questioned: was my review of Earth insufficient prior to my visit? I had come in full uniform. I now believe this behaviour must be specific to location, as when I visited my Captain the day after, he was, indeed, wearing clothing. Perhaps it is due to the heat that they were undressed in this manner, as my sensors read an increase in temperature upon entry. My companion had invited me to the bar. I was confused to observe that the bartender did not possess a replicator. As I stood there, a gentleman of large stature grabbed my behind and came to my side. I said, “Hello.” I glanced down at his hand, and added, “Is this your way of greeting?” He appeared confused by my behaviour. This is common. Then, he asked a variety of questions which have still eluded me. They included: do you do poppers? Are you a ‘bottom’ or a ‘top’? Cut or uncut? Of course, I answered uncut. I have not been injured recently and am functioning within normal parameters. I do wish to understand the unclothed men of Whitfield Street. After conducting further research, I have discovered that the man was perhaps insinuating the request of intercourse. I believe it may be what was once called a ‘tribe’, or ‘settlement’ with a varying culture to the general population of Earth. Perhaps I will visit again, and discover more. I will write a further report on the ship’s computer upon return to the Enterprise. Lt. Commander Data

I usually have fun here but I think they can definately do with more staff. The toilets are often disgusting as it serves as both a toilet but also to hopefully wash in the basin after having sex with someone. The fact that this is a gay sex club but there is no douching facility is also beyond me!

Very clean and super great crowd on Thursday 7pm! I had a lot of fun there, strongly recommend to visit ^_^

This may be the strangest review out I happen to work in a sauna and to be honest you get all sorts of people visiting. One of the main issues I get is when people pay the entry fee.they assume that everyone is supposed to hit on them and when it doesn't happen they write really bad reviews all the guys where I work are super friendly as am I so to all the people who slag off staff who work in these places have a thought as we are paid to work there but some of the things we deal with are not your everyday things and to be honest when you're working the bar or door it's a lot different from the other side of the bar. Remember it is sometimes hit and miss so obey the rules as there to protect you more than you realise and enjoy yourself 🙂